shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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