"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
