dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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