I wish i was in the wii world.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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