READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My vagina just clenched in fear
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
