OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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