How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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