What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
