i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
