do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize