There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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