This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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