Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
