One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
