I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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