She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
did you just send me my own nude
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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