my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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