Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We talked him into tasing himself.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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