I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
