3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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