Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
how does that bad decision feel?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
