I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
