before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
