I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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