Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
