8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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