Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
