It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
