If i come over, it means nothing
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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