I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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