So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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