But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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