dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
