just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
