the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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