Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
