Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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