The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize