We named our party play list daddy issues
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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