Me too!
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
