i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I am naked and annoyed.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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