Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
BRING THE BAGELS
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
