If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize