There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
