fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
