planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
