ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
