I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
