dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Randomize