I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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