Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize