I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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