maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
