I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
