Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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