The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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