I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
