fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize