Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
