He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
