We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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